| I think one of the reasons why Birthdays tend to suck is because we get our hopes up. We think the day will go perfectly. Smooth. Flawless. I guess we fail to realize that our birthday is just like any other day. It is only special to the individual.
I thought this birthday was going to be extra special because I was going to be able to spend it with that special guy. Well since then, that special guy put my heart in a blender and then threw it in my face. Not only did it make me feel ugly physically, it made me feel wortheless. I have never been with a guy longer than a month. Once I found someone who made everything feel RIGHT, he ran back to his ex girlfriend. I am happy for both of them... I just hate that it took MY heart to get them to realize that they "loved" each other. But don't you think you can fall in love with someone else? I mean I know at first there may be just strong feelings. But what if later, down the road, he found that the love that grew and developed between the two of us was bigger, better, stronger than what he and his ex had? Can you really love two people? Or do you automatically fall out of love? Is that even possible... to fall out of love? hah... so yeah. I am not looking to fall in love yet. I just want like... PROOF that someone cares for me. A boyfriend can do that yeah... but what about God? Doesn't he prove it everyday? He does, but I don't listen. Why don't I listen? Because I am looking in the wrong places.
A Buzzard, a Bat and a Bumblebee...
If you put a buzzard in a pen six or eight feet square and entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of his ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of ten or twelve feet. Without space to run, as is his habit, he will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler will be there until it dies unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom it will seek a way where no ne exists, until it completely destroys itself.
In many ways, there are lots of people like the buzzard, the bat and the bee. They are struggling about with all their problems and frustrations, not realizing, that, by merely looking up, they'll find the answer.
hehe.... WOW  <33 Jenna |
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<33 Jenna
<33 Jenna